


Introspection

by WondersoftheMultiverse



Series: Tumblr Drabble Requests [6]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Comforting, Drabble, F/M, Happy Ending, Hints towards Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attack, Pep Talk, YOU ARE AMAZING, You are awesome, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23475865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WondersoftheMultiverse/pseuds/WondersoftheMultiverse
Summary: You could feel the pressure building inside your chest with every passing moment. Your heart hammering at a frantic pace, completely out of sync with your own breathes. Stumbling slightly you powered towards the oddly placed house before you, knowing full well it was the Masters TARDIS.You could barely think as the deprecating thoughts swirled around in your head, each and every one negative towards yourself as you continued to self criticise. Closing your eyes you stopped before the aged wooden door, your hand pressing against the splintered wood as you tried in vain to tether yourself to the present.Just breathe.
Relationships: The Master (Dhawan)/Reader
Series: Tumblr Drabble Requests [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678645
Comments: 4
Kudos: 62





	Introspection

**Author's Note:**

> Request: this might be a lot so I completely understand if you ignore this. but I struggle with my mental health a lot, and to combat that I become very attached to fictional characters. would you ever write a little one shot where dhawan!master calms someone down from a panic attack? or talks someone down who’s suicidal? I know it’s not like him. I just look for comfort in those types of things, and I just really love your writing. 💕
> 
> Reminder all short drabbles have a 30 minute time limit and there's no proof reading- so please ignore any mistakes.  
> Hopefully this brightens your day! Enjoy!

**Introspection**

You could feel the pressure building inside your chest with every passing moment. Your heart hammering at a frantic pace, completely out of sync with your own breathes. Stumbling slightly you powered towards the oddly placed house before you, knowing full well it was the Masters TARDIS.

_Just breathe._

You could barely think as the deprecating thoughts swirled around in your head, each and every one negative towards yourself as you continued to self criticise. Closing your eyes you stopped before the aged wooden door, your hand pressing against the splintered wood as you tried in vain to tether yourself to the present.

_Just breathe._

Pushing inside, you stormed towards the bathroom on the far side of the room.

The Master was circling the console slowly, his hand trailing his lower chin as he remained lost amongst his own mind. Unintentionally slamming the door behind you, you felt your skin crawl and you body freeze as his attention snapped to you.

“You took your time.”

“Yeah sorry!” You apologised, your hands fumbling with the sleeves of your shirt. Avoiding his gaze, you tried in vain to keep your mask up and turmoil hidden. “Can we go now?”

The Master tilted his head inquisitively before nodding slowly. With calculated eyes, he began to flick away at the switches and buttons which lined the console. You were about to sneak away when he suddenly rounded on you, his arm outstretched as to block your path.

“I’m not stupid.” The Master began, a slight wince catching the corner of his eye as he processed his words. “Something’s not right. I can tell.”

“I’m fine.”

“Bad liar.”

Your breath hitched as your heart continued to hammer away in your chest, your stomach twisting in knots as the blood rushed to your ears. It was becoming too much. The thoughts in your head, his eyes which broke down your walls and the memories- All small and seemingly insignificant factors on their own, but together they were chipping away at your armour.

“I’m fine.” You lied again, a sad smile filling your features as your resolved crumbled. “I just need-” 

You broke off, your hands pushing him aside as you ran into the bathroom and slammed the door. Tears were brimming your eyes as the thoughts in your head became too much, your body reacting beyond your own control. Your dam was breaking, its strong walls giving way and releasing a torrent of pent up emotions. 

It was too much.

Pressing your back against the wood you tried in vain to slow your breathing, your hand slipping up your shirt to press against your bare chest. Against your palm your heart hammered away, distracting you further.

_Just breathe._

Chest tight. Mind loud. Eyes watering. Stomach churning.

The nausea became too much. 

Falling to the floor you threw the toilet seat up and wretched, your stomach twisting and turning as the bile burned your throat. A choked sob tore from you as your hands shook and knees quaked. You felt weak. You felt tired, so so tired.

You were so distracted you barely noticed the door unlocking. It was only when soft hands pulled away your hair and ran across your shoulders that you noted he was there beside you. Glancing across, you shrunk away from his gaze as the thoughts returned. 

_You’re embarrassing yourself._

_This isn’t normal._

_He’s going to leave you to._

“Just breathe.”

Your eyes flickered as you snapped your head towards him, his eyes shimmering as they took in your condition. Slipping one hand to your neck, the master traced his thumb across your skin gently; so uncharacteristically from this usual persona. 

“Just follow me.” He guided your hand to his own chest, his hearts a consistent pace as they rumbled away. Slowly his chest rose, his nostrils flaring as he emphasised breathing inwards. With watering eyes you did the same, your mouth parting slightly as you focused on mirroring his own actions. 

“And out.” He instructed calmly, his thumb rubbing soothing circles against your neck. “And in.”

You don’t know how long you sat there for, cradled in his arms and mirroring his breathing before you were finally in control again. But it was long enough for your legs to cramp and your eyes to dry. Nodding slowly, you pulled away from the Master.

“Sorry.” You apologised, your gaze cast downwards as you avoided his attention. 

“Don’t be.” The Master corrected, his fingers encircling your chin as he guided your head upwards. “Now are we going to talk about what caused that?”

You shook your head, your eyes welling with tears as the voices threatened to torment you again. Nodding in silent agreement, the Master released your chin. Shifting to his knees, he climbed to his feet slowly.

“I’m so broken. So worthless.” You murmured, your chest aching from the tightness. “I don’t know why you keep me around.”

The Master shook his head frantically as he lowered himself to his knees once again, his eyes locking with your own. “I keep you around because your precisely the opposite. We all get like that sometimes. Even me.”

“Wow..” Your attempt at humour fell weak. “-even you?”

“Yes.” 

“How do you do it?” You pushed, “How do you keep it away?”

“I don’t.” The Master admitted, his eyes gleaming with an untold emotion. “It’s part of who we are. We all get bad days, but that’s all they are. Bad days.”

“And you know what?” He continued, a small smirk creeping across his features as he slowly rose to his feet once again. “I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

“Why?” You whispered, a single tear slipping from your eye and carving it’s way down your cheek. “How could you possibly enjoy this?”

“I didn’t say I enjoyed it.” The Master quipped quickly, his hands rubbing together. “We need the bad days to appreciate the good ones.”

Blinking, a grin filled his features as his face lit up with glee. Turning to face you, he extended his hand; wiggling his fingers for extra effect.

“Come with me.” He dared, his eyes sparkling with an electric energy. “Come on, up. I’ve got something to show you.”

You took his hand without hesitation, allowing him to pull you to your feet and excitedly guide you across to the entrance of his TARDIS. You remained silent as you watched him prance around, his footsteps frantic as he messed about with the console before returning to your side.

With an nod, he clasped the handles and threw them wide revealing the dark expanse of space. Gasping you stared in awe as you stepped closer to the threshold, your eyes trailing the stars which filled the endless void around you. 

“This is RX J1566.5−3655″ The Master announced, his breath hot against your ear as he brought his face close. Gently, his hand encircled the crook of your elbow to prevent you from moving too far forward. “Oh there it is! You see it?”

Gesturing wildly into the expanse, you gasped as a bright light suddenly exploded outwards. A shock wave filled the air with colours as a harsh white light spluttered to life in the centre, its edges refined and perfect as it burned away. Tears sprung to your eyes at the beauty of the event, the space around you shimmering with a colourful haze.

“Yes…” You answered, your eyes never leaving the brilliant star at the centre. “It’s perfect.”

“Hmmmm.” The Master hummed, his voice unsure. “Actually this star is imperfect.”

You gasped, your head snapping to the side to meet his gaze. “The stars can be imperfect.”

“They all are.” The Master shrugged, as if it was a well known fact. You quickly found yourself lost in his gaze as his eyes remained locked on the star, its bright light shimmering in the reflection of his eyes. “This star for example is much smaller than what you presume to be average. It’s burning at a much quicker rate as well. It’ll be around for millennia sure, but I wouldn’t say it’s perfect.”

Turning back to the star you frowned, it looked just like any other as its light burned brightly across the cosmos.

“Does that change how you feel about it?”

“No.” You answered immediately, “But-”

“Shh” The Master chided with a gentle squeeze of your elbow. “-or you’ll miss my cryptic message.”

A small smile filled your features as you continued to watch the star, the colourful haze around you dancing in your periphery as it slowly faded away from existence. The star however remained as its small veils of light filled the expanse, travelling away from light years- a never ending journey into the unknown.

“Do you want to know it’s name?” The Master hushed beside you, his voice brimming with excitement.

“You said it’s RX-”

“That’s its scientific name.” He countered, his hand slipping away from your elbow and down to your own. “I mean it’s name.”

“What is it?”

“Take a guess.”

“I don’t know?” You murmured. Casting a glance over your shoulders, you stared at his profile as you pulled the first name you could from your head. “Jack?”

“Jack?” The Master questioned, his eyes finally returning to your own as amusement danced across his features. “No- This love, is RX J1566.5−3655 also known as…”

He paused, your breath catching as you turned back to look at the star.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N)”

Your heart slipped a beat as you felt his fingers brush against the back of your hand. His touch hesitant to fully take it. 

Shaking your head, you sighed. “You’re lying.”

“Wish I was.” The Master announced beside you, his fingers curling around your own as he held your hand loosely. Your skin sparked with energy at the action. Although it was menial, you could feel it carried a thousand unspoken words between you. “I know how much you’re going to gloat.”

“It’s beautiful.” You whispered, the tears falling free from your eyes.

“I know.” The Master whispered back, his hand squeezing your own briefly.

You shifted your body to the side, expecting to find him staring at the star with the same level of awe plastered across his face. Only, instead of the star you were surprised to find his gaze on you. 

Your heart skipped a beat as his eyes trailed your features slowly, as though he was mesmerising each and every minute detail for years to come. A though he was staring at a star. He was looking at you now, really looking at you. His eyes wide and sparkling in the low light.

He was watching you as though you were the most brilliant star of all.

“It is.” He added, his voice trailing off as your hands fell away. 

Missing the contact already, you followed the Master back through the doors as he set about preparing the TARDIS for it’s next trip. 

“What was the moral here?” You questioned aloud, your tone lighthearted and teasing as you followed him around the room.

“ _Humans_ …” 

“No seriously!”

“I was trying to be _nice_.” The Master explained, his hands splaying outwards. “Show you that you shouldn’t punish yourself for the thoughts in your head, to overthink and worry about how others perceive you. I was trying to show you that you are the most be-”

“Alright!” You interrupted, your heart filled with warmth and love as you watched him slow until he stood before you. “Alright.” 

Smiling you looked up at the Time lord, at the man who had showed you that you were just as brilliant and as beautiful as the stars. At the man who had eased you through the darkness and guided you back to the light. “Thank you.”

The Master shrugged as he ran his fingers through his hair, vainly attempting to draw it away from his face. “Well If there’s one constant thing you can rely on with me its-”

“Being a chaotic mess?” You finished for him, a large grin filling your features.

“Being there.” The Master finished, his tone serious as he stared at you with the intensity of a thousand stars. “For you. When you need me that is.” 

Your breath caught in your throat as you took a hesitant step forwards. “Master-”

“Right enough with this.” The Master suddenly announced, his hands splaying outwards as he skipped around to the TARDIS. Hands poised across the controls, the Timelord wiggled his eyebrows towards you mischievously. “That’s enough emotions for one day I think. Are you ready to cause some trouble?”

Sighing you gave the man a small nod, unable to keep the smirk from your face as he began to prance around with a devilish glee. 

You felt lighter, stronger in yourself now than you ever had. For the Master was right. You weren’t perfect, no-one was perfect. It was fine to have the bad days, the ones which dragged you down, the ones which seemed so dark that the light couldn’t reach you. It was normal and there was nothing to be ashamed off. Asking for help wasn’t a weakness.

Grabbing your hand, the Master pulled you to the controls his words lost to you as he guided your grip to a nearby lever. 

And you know what? You supposed you wouldn’t change anything either. Because he was right, without the dark days how would you ever realise you were bathing in the light? How would you ever appreciate the good ones. 

Nodding his head, the Master urged you to pull the lever; his hands clicking in anticipation.

There was just one thing to remember. Even when the dams are about to break and the emotions threaten to drag you under. On the days when you can’t see the light or warmth in the world, when you feel so cold and tired of it all. One single thing. 

Meeting the Masters gaze you nodded once, your fingers tightening around the lever as you brought it down with a gleeful cry. Instantly the TARDIS whirred to life, the red lights of the console glowing brightly around the room.

_You weren’t alone. You never was and you never would be._

Meeting the Masters gaze you smiled warmly as the red hue pranced across his features.

_Just breathe._


End file.
